Not Every Man for Himself:
by xCharlie-Groupiex
Summary: "What if I never see you two again?" Not impossible. Sawyer swallowed hard, and she could tell he was going to make like it was no big deal. "Don't think you're gettin' off that easy, Freckles." Improvised 'Every Man for Himself', S3. Oneshot. One swear.


**A/N: Oneshot set in season three. Improvised version of the episode "Every Man For Himself" when Sawyer tells Kate that if she really loved him, she'd run. Rewritten, very much revised and with a new title. Enjoy, please REVIEW! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or any of its characters.**

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><p>Not Every Man for Himself:<p>

She stared into his eyes, having slipped through the wider bars at the top of her cage and made her way into his, therefore having a better view of his face. Fear and worry were within hers. Could that glistening possibly be an indication of love? No, she'd as good as told him she'd only said so to stop his beatings. But still...

"No," she choked out, and for a second he thought this her answer to his unspoken question. "No, I won't do it. I _can't_ do it, Sawyer. Leave you behind? How can you even ask that?"

"Kate." He only called her by her name when he was being completely serious.

"No, James! I'm not leaving you, not leaving Jack! No, no way!" She attempted a calm demeanour, but was unsuccessful in the attempt. That was okay-even if she had succeeded, it would have been obvious that any portrayed serenity was being forced.

Usually she was a better actress than almost anyone, but anxiety and emotion had too strongly overcome her, now. He could see every passing thought registering in the expressions on her face. First, shock that he should even believe her capable of such a thing, then distress and anger at the suggestion, and finally a firm resolve not to move—from his cage much less in her decision-an inch. Convincing her would be no easy task, he perceived. Normally the Southerner savoured a good challenge, but not tonight. Not against Kate.

"I'll be okay, an' the Doc, well, he's a fighter. Practically a favourite with these people—don't look at me like that, Freckles. Ya know it's true. Come on, I need to know that you're far away from here. Jack would want you to be somewhere safe."

"You said yourself he might not even be alive." Before either of them knew it, tears had formed in her eyes and fell, leaving trails of salty liquid down her cheeks. It killed him that grief over Jack had the ability to touch her, but not his own this one plea.

It was barely audible as he said it. "Please."

"What if I never see you two again?" Not impossible. Her voice cracked and she struggled to remain composed when what she really wanted to do was collapse into a fit of sobs.

Sawyer swallowed hard, and she could tell he was going to make like it was no big deal. "Don't think you're gettin' off _that _easy, Freckles."

He held her in his arms, rubbing her back and comforting her, but keeping the tears he himself wanted to spill suppressed. Crying had never been his thing, even at the very lowest points of his life, and all doing so would accomplish was worry her. Instead, he made himself chuckle at her despair, try to downplay the seriousness of the situation, while simultaneously memorizing as much about her and this moment as could be done. Who knew what he would be forced to go through in the next twenty four hours? He would need the comfort of the memory of the feel of her small, warm form against him, sound of her voice, feel of her lustrous curls against his cheek.

Eventually she pulled back, and Sawyer had the premonition that with this action nothing good was going to come. "I'm still not going. I'd never be able to forgive myself if I did."

He shook his head, a look of frustrated discouragement telling her that this was not what he wanted to hear. As his heart began to pound, the watch around his wrist recording his pulse time began beeping. Taking deep breaths, he calmed himself enough that it would stop, which after a few seconds it did.

"Ya have to. You hear me? Don't make me hafta stoop low to try to convince ya, Kate."

"James," she rebuked him severely, through still descending tears, "Stop it. I'm not going. My mind is made up." She looked so earnest, so serious and sad, that it damn near broke his heart, but he still had to convince her to change her decision. This place was a death trap.

Not doing everything in his power to make her leave would not be protecting her the way he'd promised himself he would.

"What, yer a damn saint now?" A last, desperate, clinging attempt at convincing her to get away from here while she still could. One that might just cause her to detest him, but hopefully get her to go to safety all the same. "Suddenly not an ex convict?"

Appearing surprised at his words, she turned a look of confused fierceness on him, before the truth of the matter made itself known to her. Then, she gave him a grim smile. "I see what you're doing Sawyer, and it's a good try, but I'm still not running away. You've been acting weird ever since they took you away earlier. What happened that I don't know about?"

"Thought that was what ya did best, running away," he sneered at her, the only reply he gave. Maybe it wasn't the right technique, but this was the only technique he had. The only way he could think of of getting her to leave, head to safety, escape.

She looked stricken and miserable when he accused her of this. "Sawyer..." Her voice was strangled with worry, confusion, and hurt. "You can tell me. We'll work together!"

This was it. He gathered all the courage he had in order to most effectively deliver a final blow, still refusing to give any comprehendable answer to her questions. Like him, Kate was a prideful creature. One more hit to her character and past actions and she should be on her way. It hurt him to hurt her, hurt him more than she would ever know, but this was the way it had to be.

He only hoped that it would work, because this was his last resort.

"Don't fancy yerself a martyr, buttercup. Yer in no way like the doc. Ya lie, you cheat, ya've even killed a man. Make that men! Yer not a hero; you're a sinner just like me."

Kate grew red in the face, but whether from anger, humiliation, agony, or all three, he did not know. She seemed to be gritting her teeth as she informed him, "I don't leave people behind. It's _not _every man for himself, for me."

Sawyer shrugged as if he didn't believe her, feeling a pang inside at having to do so. The pulse rate watch began beeping again. "Hard to believe anything ya say, bein' such a little liar an' all."

Kate gave him a horrible look. "What is that thing? What's it for?" She grabbed his arm and tried to examine it, but before she could he'd hit it forcefully against a bar of the cage in order to silence it. This it did.

"A watch, don't touch it," and he took a step back from her.

She stared at him in passionate disbelief. "Who's the liar now?"

"Still you, Freckles. Still you."

Unable to restrain herself, she leaped forward and slapped him a hard smack across the face. "I hate you. I hate you, Sawyer."

Touching his cheek, he forced out a hollow, uncaring laugh. "Well ain't _that _a great reason to stay!"

Seeming to see she was fighting a losing battle, she climbed to the top of the cage. Burning with emotion and shame, for a moment she just hung on there, peering down at him resentfully. "I'll get help. I'll come back for you, James." Yet her eyes said that she would never forgive him.

"Get out of here, Freckles. Don' even think of stoppin' to see Jack. You'll only screw things up fer him." Tone, warning, and expression were all utterly serious.

She nodded, scarcely perceptibly, at him. However, what she said was, "We'll see." With a final, tearful glare she slipped between the bars from the confines of the cage, clambering down the side of it to the ground and once there giving him a weak wave. "Bye, Sawyer." The mutter was at once both condescending and deplorable.

"See ya round." His voice was surly but the look in his eyes was a sad, anxious one. Giving another nod, a stiff, almost formal, one, she turned and ran stealthily away.

He certainly hoped to be able to. She didn't love him, had admitted freely to this, but that did not mean he didn't. Through all of their arguments and each of their imperfections, he very much did. That was why keeping her safe was so essential. Not only for her sake, but for his too.

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><p><strong>AN: I really enjoyed writing this, it was so sad to write :( I hope Kate was in character. I'm not sure she would have left if this had happened in the show, but even if not, that's okay. That's why this is a fanfiction! Please review with your input and you will get good karma. If you review me and you've stories in categories I like you'll most likely get a review from me.**

**xox Sacha**


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